Remember
by Natalie
Summary: Chapter 3 in! I might be changing the title, so if I do, don't stop reading it!! Well, basically, this continues Cassie's life and I can't say much without giving anything away, but this might be Alternate Universe. :-)
1. Prologue-Remember

I knew I had said good-bye to Jake forever. 

I fell into a heap and burst into tears. Seeing him leave like that, so abruptly, made me realize everything I'd missed by not seeing him at all the past 3 years. If only I'd helped him somehow, maybe he could have been the Jake I wanted, the Jake who had proposed to me so long ago. Oh, how I wished things could be how they were before...well, before. 

**FLASHBACK** 

"Don't look," I hissed. "It's Jake." 

"I can't look at my own cousin?" 

"You can look, just don't _look_, that's all I'm saying." 

"You mean, don't look at him in a way that will somehow convey to him that you are hot for him? That you want his lips pressed against yours? That you want his big, strong arms wrapped all around you?" 

"Yeah, Rachel, that's what I meant. That is exactly what I meant." 

**FLASHBACK END** 

Oh, god. I never realized how much I missed that childish mutual crush we had. I never saw how much the war had really changed us. I just lived and accepted the reality we'd come to know as normal. But our relationship definitely changed. I almost wish it hadn't ended, just so that Jake and I could still be together. 

**FLASHBACK** 

Jake was dead. No, he wasn't! I wouldn't believe it. But I'd seen him go down with that Howler... 

Prince Jake!> 

I looked up. And he was there. I ran to him as he came toward me. There wasn't a single thought in my head except, 'He's alive!' I jumped into his arms and before I knew it our lips were pressed together in the sweetest moment of my life. 

**FLASHBACK END** 

No! I couldn't handle it anymore! Just remembering someone alive was hard enough. I wouldn't be able to handle it if it turned to Rachel. I'd avoided thinking about her, convincing myself she'd want us to go on with life, but I of all people knew that you can't hide from emotion. It's inevitable. It will find you and attack, no matter how hard you try to hide. 

**FLASHBACK** 

"I'm working." I said grumpily. "Maybe you should try it sometime." 

Rachel wasn't at all offended. "I just have two words for you, Cassie: Ralph. Lauren. It's one thing to wallow in dirt, but do you have to do it while wearing boys' jeans from Wal-Mart? That's why we have Ralph Lauren. For the outdoorsy types." 

I slid to the ground. Then I grabbed a dirt clod near my feet. "Come here. I just want to see if it's even possible for dirt to cling to you." 

"Do not throw that dirt clod at me." 

"It's an experiment. I have to know whether you're really human! You're like the Undead. Only you're the Un-Dirty!" 

I did a gentle, underhand lob of the dirt clod. Rachel calmly snatched it out of the air and let it drop. 

"Okay, show me your hand," I demanded. "That was wet dirt. It should have stuck to your palm." 

Rachel laughed and refused to show me her hand. "So here we are. It's a beautiful Saturday morning. We have no mission, at least as far as I've heard. You going to work the rest of the day? Or are you going to come with me to the mall, buy a new bathing suit, and then come with me to the beach? I need to refresh my tan." 

"My tan is already pretty fresh," I said. "And I do not want to spend the day baking in the sun while you look at guys. I have stuff to do." Then I reconsidered. "Okay, I'm not a beach person, but this day is too good to waste. I'll go with you. I'll just go find a pair of my mom's Bermuda shorts to wear. The big, striped ones." 

The look on Rachel's face was perfect: horror struggling with disbelief. 

"Kidding," I said. "Just kidding. I'll go get my suit. You are so easy, sometimes." 

**FLASHBACK END** 

I vaguely wondered what had happened to Ronnie. He would usually be by my side in an instant, comforting me. I was sure my sobs could be heard for miles around, and, frankly, I didn't care. Let the world know about the anguish being a world hero will bring on you. At that moment, I wished with all my heart and more that I could have things like they used to be, with Jake and Rachel here. For that silly little crush Jake and I shared, with Rachel on the sidelines, pushing it along... 

**FLASHBACK** 

Jake saw us coming and looked like he wanted to hide. It suddenly occurred to me that he'd never seen me in a bathing suit. Now I wanted to hide. 

"Hi!" he said, giving a little wave and keeping his eyes rock-steady on my face. 

"Oh, man, this has got to be trouble," Rachel said, loudly enough for Jake to hear. "Okay, Jake, whose butt do we have to go and kick?" 

Normally he would have smiled. But he just swallowed, darted a look at the rest of me, blushed, and once again, grimly focused on my face. 

"He think I look dumpy," I muttered to Rachel under my breath.

"Cassie, you are so hopeless. What you know about guys could fit on the head of a pin. Good grief. That is not a 'she looks dumpy' look. That's a 'whoa, she looks hot, but I better not show any reaction or she'll get offended' look." 

**FLASHBACK END** 

Oh, man, I was going nuts. Insane, as Marco would say. I just wanted it to leave me alone! I hated remembering. Like I once told Jake, I'd never forget, or even try, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy remembering. In fact, if I didn't have to remember anything about the war in detail for the rest of my life, I'd be convinced I was in paradise. That conversation may have been the biggest mistake of my life. If only I'd said something differently. If only. 

**FLASHBACK** 

"Cassie, you ever wonder what happens if we win? you ever think about that?" 

What kind of a question was that? Of course! "All the time." 

"Nothing will ever be the same. People will know the galaxy is full of life, full of intelligent species. We'll have this huge rush of technological change. There'll be nothing to stop us from being a space-traveling species. Humans on the moon, on Mars, maybe colonizing planets all around the galaxy. Can you imagine what that's going to mean?" 

Not exactly the part I was thinking about. But I nodded. "I guess I don't think about that stuff so much. I guess I think more about us. You and me. And all of us." 

He wrapped his arms around me. In that cage, in Jake's arms, I felt just about as safe as I'd ever be before this would end. "You know I love you," Jake said quietly, almost sounding wistful. 

"I love you too, Jake." I layed my head on his shoulder, wishing we could just evaporate there forever. 

And then he said it. "I guess if we win, if we survive, maybe we should, you know, get married and all. I mean, eventually. I know we're young, but man, we've been through enough that it should count for a few extra years, shouldn't it?" 

I didn't expect to start crying. And, from the look on Jake's face, he didn't either. It just seemed so impossible. "I would like that...eventually." 

He knew where I was heading. "But. But what?" 

I sighed, wishing that I didn't have to say this. "But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?" 

"Guess I thought I'd go to college." 

"And study what, Jake? Me, I'll go to college, I'll become a doctor. I'll never forget what's happened, I'll never even try, but I'll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?" I worried so much about him. 

He shrugged and stepped away a litte. "I'm not Rachel, you know. I didn't fall in love with the fight. I don't need it like she does. I do it, I try and do it well, but it's just a job, a duty." He was trying so desperately. "I mean, wht do you think? The Pentagon is going to call me up and make me Chairman of the Joint Cheifs of Staff? I'm not even old enough to enlist as a private." I stayed silent, not quite sure how to respond. "Look, Cassie, when this is over I'll be done with it forever. I'll go back to school, get an education, go to basketball games, get a driver's license, go to college, figure out what it is I really want to do. And be with you. You and me." 

It was so sweet. But I knew that after this was over, whatever happened, it wouldn't be like he thought. There would be consequences. But I wanted it so much. I tried to smile for him. "A year after it ends, if it ends, if we win, a year afterward if you want to be with me, we'll talk about that again, okay?" 

"I have to wait a year? Kind of harsh isn't it?" 

I know how you feel, Jake. But it would all be for the best. I tried to make a joke out of it. "Hey, if we get married, is Marco going to live with us?" A lame attempt. It didn't work, didn't even make sense. And it was at that moment that I knew I had made the biggest mistake of a lifetime. 

**FLASHBACK END** 

And, now, all of a sudden, I knew what to do. 

  
A/N: Mwa! Haha! Cliffhanger! Um...right. Well, if there's any mistakes in the flashbacks, I'm sorry. (and I did change a few things.) Review? I..um...feed the reviews I get to my Muse. So it'll help me write more, better, and faster. (Especially if they have suggestions or guesses.) Oh, yeah. Don't own nothin' here. 


	2. Chapter 1-Complications

I didn't have much time. Not even the day I'd wanted. But I had to do this, for me and for the rest of us. I had a gut feeling they'd need me. And that's why I would stow away on the ship going on the mission to rescue Ax. It would be hard to survive, hard to keep from getting caught, and just plain tiring, I knew. And I would love it. It was something Rachel might do for fun. I was doing it to get back the life I'd loved. 

I left during the night to avoid any akward conversations with Ronnie. I left a note, saying that I was going on an "extended vacation". I felt completely horrible about it, after all, I felt I had to be honest with Ronnie, we had lately been seriously considering taking our relationship to the next level with marraige. After this, he'd never trust me again. If I were him, I wouldn't trust me either. I would miss him, though. I'm not going to pretend I don't love him, I do, with all my heart. It's just that I could see now that a life with me and him would never work out. Not in this world. 

It hadn't been too hard to figure out the details of Jake's plan. In Marco's words, I was still an Animorph, and Jake didn't expect spying from me. After hearing his plan, I began to form my own. 

I didn't expect to stay hidden the whole time, but I did need to keep out of the way for a few days until it would be too late to take me back. After throwing away the brief idea of morphing one of the "newbies" on board (I still had my ethics and morals. No morphing sentient beings. Period.), I decided to go the good old-fashioned way. Morph something small and hang on for your life. Of course, I would have to demorph at some point, so a safe place for that was needed. I'd figure that out when it came to that. 

Now the only problem was how to actually get with them without being noticed. I wanted as much time in morph as possible, but I really didn't have much of a clue where they were going, so I'd have to start with them. Looking back, I realize it wasn't much of a plan, and certainly didn't prepare me for anything that would happen. 

~ ~ ~

Fly was never one of my favorite morphs. It was downright disgusting to turn into, even for me. But, as in so many situations before, it was necessary. I hadn't had too much trouble getting into the truck. Of course security was tight, there were three Animorphs there. But I had the advantage, knowing their plan, while they were still thinking I was off hiking in some national park. Okay, so there'd been that close call with Marco. Something to do with one of Jake's students. That...situation provided me with plenty of entertainment. 

Unfortunately, I had looked over one small detail. Or perhaps a big one. See, I hadn't realized they had to stage a fight. It's not good to be in the middle of battle, even a mock battle, as a fly. Especially when a demorph is needed ASAP. I had been on Marco's head, and, somehow, when he morphed, I ended up on his palm. When the two Andalites came off of the shuttle, Marco banged their heads together. This requires grabbing a head with his palm. I became fly mush. I swear I could see my guts spilling out. Now, I've been in some pretty sticky situations. This was one of the worst. 

I realized, in some sane, conscious part of me, that if I demorphed right there, my chances of going on this mission went from bad to gone. My panicked, adrenilated part knew that if I didn't demorph, I'd die and my chance would be gone for sure. I listened to the terrified side. I spiralled through the air, trying to fly with my one good wing as my guts and blood spilled all over. Thoughts ran through my head, of all the things I'd miss of semi-normal life. Flashes. Faces. Regrets. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was Ronnie's face, asking me why. Why... 

~ ~ ~

AN: So, how'd ya like this part? I know it's kinda short, but it was just a perfect place to stop. I do have an idea of what I'm going to do next, so the next part should be out soon. And, before I forget, I got some people saying there were too many flashbacks in the first part. I know there were a lot, but that was just kind of a prologue, just to get the story started. I hope you liked this part better. Adios! 


	3. Chapter 2-Negotiations

AN: Okay, I know I usually do these at the end, but I couldn't help myself. If you haven't read a chat transcript yet, here's (in my opinion) the best part:  
"Dahjo799 in Onstage1 asks: Can you tell us more about The One at the end of 54? Is it the voice in 41?  
K_A_Applegate_Live says: You know what? I'm counting on all the Fan Fiction writers out there to figure that out. I wrote the cliffhanger ending because I wanted to show that Jake could only really find himself again when he stumbled back into a war.  
K_A_Applegate_Live says: I wanted to show that one war often leads seamlessly into the next. But a part of me was thinking, 'here's for the fan fiction writers.'"  
Here's for the fan fiction writers. That made me so happy. Thanx, KAA!! I know a lot of ppl didn't like that answer. Too bad. I did. And I'll have my regular AN at the bottom. :-D 

~ ~ ~

I was half-way between awake and asleep. I was delirious, past any kind of sanity or logic. I was just calling out, calling Help! Help me! Someone! I don't want to die...>. I didn't realize the danger. I just wanted to be saved. Just wanted someone to sit beside me and help me through it, telling me to demorph NOW. 

Then I heard an angel. It must have been, nothing else could seem as wonderful then. A voice in my head. <Cassie. Don't say anything.> It sounded familiar. A voice from a past life. <Don't demorph. I have you.> I felt wind rush past. Then I was dropping, falling, plummeting towards the bottom of bottomless. 

I heard it again. <Demorph when you hit! No one can see you but me. You're safe.> Safe? From what? Did I want them to see me? I vaguely felt landing softly on the hard ground. The changes began. Growing larger, until I was a 4 foot tall fly. Wings, melding grotesquely into arms, hands growing out of the ends. Eyes, going from zillions of little TV screens to good old human eyes. I was safe. 

But I wasn't. Who had carried me? I looked around. No one. I looked up and spotted a normal-looking red-tailed hawk. Only he wasn't normal. "Tobias." It wasn't a question. 

<What are you doing here, Cassie?> He sounded so...fatherly. No, it was more like a stern, concerned friend or older brother. I didn't answer, whatever he sounded like. I was afraid. Afraid that he'd be mad at me, afraid I wouldn't be able, afraid of Jake, for that matter. Tobias would tell him. And, even though he didn't show, even in my delirious state, I knew that he cared too much for me to let me come on some suicidal, illegal, and downright dangerous mission. 

I morphed back, this time to flea. Once I was finished (no need to go through the disgusting process again), I spoke to him. <I am going on this mission. I don't care what you say, who you tell, I will find a way.> I felt horrible, as if I was threatening him. I suppose I was, but, as so many other things I already regretted from this trip, it was necessary. 

<Cassie, you can't go. We all agreed. We probably won't come back from this one. You need to stay. You're doing what you need to, what you should be doing. We can't just leave, and never let the world see any of the infamous Animorphs ever again.> 

<Why not? What good do we do the rest of the world here? They can carry on without me. There's plenty of people working there. Ronnie's very capable of taking my job.> I had known this would happen. I shouldn't have even tried. It was useless. Then I got an idea. <Tobias, you owe me a favor.> 

I could sense his puzzlement, even through his ever-expressionless hawk face. <What do I owe you a favor for?> 

I had to be careful with my wording, because, in actuality, I would say we were pretty even. He _had_ saved my life a few minutes ago. <Hey, I've been the only person to talk to you for the past 2 years! Doesn't that count for something?> I prayed silently that this would work, or all hope would be lost. 

Those fierce hawk eyes bore into me. <You also helped Jake find me.> 

I knew that would come up. <But aren't you glad I did?> I had a feeling that this was what Tobias needed, and, now that it had happened, he knew it. 

<Cassie, you know how to work someone. Fine. I'll help you. But if Jake finds out, he'd better be pissed at you, not me.> I could have cried for joy. Somehow, going on this had become my reason for living in the past few days. Had that chance been ruined, I may not have been able to live with it. I was safe, for now at least. 

~ ~ ~

Had I said safe? This was too easy. I was a flea on Tobias' back, with only one or two problems the entire time? I don't think so. Something was going on. I had a feeling I should't trust him as much as I was, but what choice did I have? Anything else was going to get me killed or kicked out for sure, where as in the position I was, that was just a possibility. Still, I couldn't get rid of that tingly feeling running through my...uh...exoskeleton. 

I pushed all the unpleasant thoughts out of my head and concentrated on being able to hear and understand the conversation going on as we got ready to board the Yeerk ship. 

"It seems tough enough," Marco remarked. 

"It is very fast and packs a very powerful weapons array, for its size. It carries no Bug fighters but does carry two small shuttlecraft. The Yeerks intended these cruiser-class ships to keep track of what they imagined would be a far-flung empire. As well as for escort duty," It was, of course, an Andalite who knew all this. Actually, a used-to-be Andalite, known as Mendarash, now a human nothlit. He had given up his body for this mission. Even being in the war for three years, it never ceased to amaze me, the sacrifices people made. Of course, nobody could ever top the sacrifice Rachel had made. 

I could see the giddy child-like happiness and wonderment on Jake's face, even with the reduced flea senses. "Well, it's ours now. Okay, Menderash. Let's go aboard." 

Menderash knew to follow his captain's orders, but seemed a bit hesitant. Jake noticed. "What?" 

He seemed a bit uncomfortable. "It's nothing, Captain. Just a custom. An Andalite custom. We always name a ship before the first crewman boards - it's an old notion, a superstition, really. The thinking is that the ship must know who _it_ is before the crew can know it." He may have been in a human body, but he was definitely Andalite at heart. 

"Fair enough, Menderash," Jake seemed a bit more at ease now. "Our own superstition is that a ship is never an 'it', it's always a 'she'. Even if the ship is named after a male, it's a 'she'." 

There was a silence, then, "So what do we call her?" Marco, the first to break the quiet. 

Suprisingly, it was Tobias who answered. <She's beautiful. She's beautiful and dangerous and exciting.> I knew immediately what he meant. 

Marco laughed. "She would love it. A scary, deadly, cool-looking Yeerk ship on a doomed, suicidal, crazy mission that no one can ever know about? She would love it." 

So I, hidden amongst them, boarded _The Rachel_. 

~ ~ ~

AN: Another short part. But not as short as the last one...I'm hoping I'll be able to get parts up quicker, because I'm going to try and work on this at least a little bit a day. And because I have another great idea and I don't want to work on two fics at a time...but by no means will I rush this. Oh yeah! 

Thanx to SouthernBelle14, Forlay, Aliimo, Momo Claus, THE ANimorphamanaic, Hope, RayMai, and Ax for reviewing part one. Thanx to Nutmeg, Hope, and OMEGA for reviewing part 2! 

Ok, one more thing. I know! You just can't get rid of me. Thanx to Hope for reading this for me and making suggestions! 


	4. Chapter 3-Unexpected Happenings

A "small shuttlecraft", even on a first-class Yeerk cruiser, is not a very comfortable place to live. I had at first considered it a burden that Tobias found out, but now I couldn't be more grateful. I had food thanks to him. And a source of information. From what he told me, it wasn't going too good. After floating aimlessly for a few months, there was absolutely no trace of Ax or any of these Kelbrid. So I waited. 

And I waited. Let me tell you, sitting in a confined space with nothing to do but prepare for your basically inevitable death can get a little boring. So I decided to be completely stupid. I left the shuttle. I knew that Tobias was on watch tonight, so I didn't expect much trouble. I had, however, forgotten Tobias' frequent warnings of Jake having trouble sleeping, being so worried about everything. 

I walked out. And right onto the bridge, where I found not just Tobias in human morph, but Tobias in human morph talking to Jake. My first impulse was, as any normal person would do, to run. My second impulse was to have some fun. Neither of them had spotted me yet, but I would make sure they did. After all, I'd known from the beginning I wouldn't be able to stay hidden for long. And I knew we had just found a system near Kelbrid territory. It'd be hard to keep hidden if they landed anywhere. And I was entitled to some fun after being cooped up for months. 

I caught Tobias' eyes first. They widened. He seemed to be shaking his head at me. I just smiled innocently, feeling completely not like myself. Jake saw his shock. "What's wrong?" He began to turn around. 

"Oh, it's nothing," Tobias assured him. But it was too late. He'd seen me. 

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" I winced, very slightly. In the old days, that small action would've made him soften up 100%. Today, he stood there, no change what-so-ever. It broke my heart. Not for me, but for him. Seeing him so hardened, so affected by the war and all the changes as I'd never seen before. His voice startled me out of my thoughts. "I asked you a question. What are you doing here?" 

I took a deep breath, ready to confess. Then a small voice in the back of my head asked, _Confess what? You just wanted to help. You were doing your duty. He's the one who wouldn't let you come. You don't need to confess anything._ It was true. So I played it out. "What am I doing here? What are you doing here? You're not on duty tonight. It's me and Tobias. You're tomorrow," He opened his mouth to comeback, then paused, confused. He rubbed his temples. 

Then he shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about, but as far as I know, you're not supposed to be here. And the fact stands that I am, shall we say, captain, of this ship, and therefore know who is and who is not supposed to be here. I am. You are not. I don't know how or why you're here, but I can't do much about it now. I don't know what I'm going to do about you, especially after I thought you understood that you were doing what you needed to be doing back there. This isn't your territory anymore, don't you understand that?" 

I averted my gaze from his face. "That's what you thought, Jake. But there wasn't much that I was doing back on Earth. The Hork-Bajir are safe at Yellowstone. They were fine by their own in the valley, why do they need our help now? Anyways, Ronnie can take care of anything that happens by slim chance. You're right. I _was_ doing what I needed to do then. But that part of my life is over now. I was there when I needed to be, and now I'm here, where I need to be." I searched his face. From what I could tell, he wasn't buying it. Then again, it was a lot harder to read his face than it used to be, no matter how much he'd loosened up in the last 2 years. 

He looked at me for a moment, then shook his head. "You know what, I don't have the time or patience for this. Just go back to wherever you came from." I stared back. That didn't sound a bit like Jake. I was still staring when a large fist came down on his head, and he slumped to floor, out cold. 

Tobias looked at me, with a stern glint in his eye. "Never, ever do anything that risky again, until I give you permission. I'll cover up for you. This time. I won't remember a thing about this and Jake will think it was all a dream. And you'll have taken him on his little guilt trip, if you could even call it that, so I hope you're happy." He looked tired, frazzled. "Just...go back to the shuttle. I'll bring you some food later." His eyes bored into me in his eternally intense stare, no matter what form he was in. I stood in the middle of the bridge for a moment, then walked off in the opposite direction, back towards the inevitable boredom. 

~ ~ ~

That incident was long from being forgotten by myself, Tobias, or even Jake, as Tobias told me, but, three months later, it didn't seem to matter anymore. Because, after all that "hard" so-called searching (translation: wandering aimlessly), they found us. 

Tobias was kind enough to shout a warning to me. I, still being stupid, decided to follow. When Tobias flew by, I flew (as a fly) blindly and landed on him by pure luck. We got there just as they were sending out their story. 'We are the _Enterprise_, a peaceful, deep-space exploration ship from The United Federation of Planets.' I figured Marco was behind that. I thought it was a little stupid, considering there would probably be human Controllers on the Blade Ship still. 

I was proved correct when Menderash reported, "Recieving a request for visual, two-way communication." 

<Uh-oh> The ever so intelligent response of my buddy Tobias. 

"What do we show them?" That was one of the "replacements", as I thought of them. The guy. 

Jake said exactly what I knew he would. No matter how messed up he gets, he'll always be able to figure things out in a crisis. "Not me. If it's the Blade Ship, they may recognize me. Or Marco, or Tobias, for that matter. Santorelli," (That was his name!), "you're the best B.S. artist aside from Marco. So you're the captain. Jeanne, you stand with him. Everyone else out of view. Narrow the audio channel to pick up Santorelli only. Okay, open communications." I held my breath (well, sort of. Hard to do as a fly.) along with everyone else. 

I heard a man laughing. He had his hands on his hips, and looked way too confident for my tastes. "So, you come from the Federation, do you? And where is Captain Picard?" Santorelli hesitated. Marco would've had an answer before the guy finished talking. And he did. 

"You've always thought of yourself as more of a Captain Kirk," he whispered. 

"I've always thought of myself as more of a Captain Kirk," Santorelli repeated, cockiness back. 

At that point, Menderash gave a bit a useful info. "Sensor confirmation: It's the Blade Ship." I would've drawn in a breath, but I was fly, and couldn't. 

The man, or Yeerk, should I say, said "That's quite a ship you have there...excuse me, I don't know your name." 

And it was Marco to the rescue again. "You're Rakich-Four-Six-Nine One of the Flet Niaar Pool." Santorelli repeated it, in that same confident voice. 

"I am Efflit-One-Three-One-Eight of the Sulp Niaar Pool. Well met." I mentally sighed in relief. One obstacle was beat, for now at least. "And what exactly are you doing here, brother? And how do you come to be flying a new cruiser-class ship?" Shoot. Thought too soon. 

But Santorelli was quick. "I might ask the same of you. I find it hard to imagine what business a ship of the Yeerk Empire has in this far-flung quadrant." 

"He's powering up his weapons and maneuvering to bring them to bear," Menderash, reporting the end of our lives. 

Back to the conversation, Efflit replied, "My mission here is classified." 

"As is mine," I had to give it to him, Santorelli knew what to say. 

After a silence where everyone seemed to be thinking about their inevitable fate (I know I was), Jake said, "We have to blink first." He told Santorelli what to do. 

He carried out the orders. "It occurs to me, Efflit 1318, that it would be a tragedy if any misunderstanding occured here between us." 

"Indeed? And what misunderstanding _could_ occur, Rakich 4691?" His voice made me nervous. 

Santorelli sighed, carrying out the plan perfectly. "There is no empire, Efflit 1318. The empire is finished. I...my crew and I seized this ship and escaped as the Andalites closed in. We had heard that a Blade ship had escaped and survived. We have been looking for you ever since. For more than three years." 

We sat in drawn-out silence, hoping, wishing, praying he bought it. "You will place yourself under the command of The One?" 

"The who?" I could've smacked him. But I, of all people, know everyone makes mistakes. But there really was no excuse for this potentially fatal one Santorelli had just made. 

"I command this ship, but I serve at the pleasure of The One Who Is Many. The One Who Is _All_. We are not alone, Rakich 4691. We are not _this_ ship alone. We are the seeds of a new empire that will far outshine the old, under the leadership of The One." At this point, I wasn't quite so glad for all my practice hearing as a fly. And I decided that if I was going to die, it wasn't going to be as a fly. So I left to demorph. 

Once outside the door, I swear I made the quickest demorph of my life, and, being me, that's a pretty big accomplishment. I was me again in less than a minute and came (crouching low, hiding behind chairs, all that spy junk that never works) in to see one of the most disturbing sights I have seen in my life. 

It was Ax. 

But as I watched from behind my chair, I saw a huge mouth, wide opened with red-rimmed teeth. Then, he spoke. "Save your tricks for this Yeerk fool. I see the truth. I see all. Step into view, Jake the Yeerk-Killer. I kow you are there, I feel your mind." 

I wanted to cry out to Jake, tell him not to do it, for somehow, I knew that this would be the end of life as we knew it if he gave into this One. But something kept me from it. I stayed where I was, not really knowing any reason not to give myself away, but not really having a legitimate reason to do just that. 

"I'm here." He sounded so calm, so unemotional. It was almost as if he had expected this. In a way, I suppose he had. He knew his life wouldn't end in a normal way, and, perhaps, he went on this mission to seek out the end, rather than wait any longer for it to come to him. 

The face seemed to sneer at him. "You have done well to come this far. You have come to find your friend. But the Andalite is part of me now. As you will soon be." Jake stared, and I got a weird sense of deja vu, seeing a younger Jake before me, one who would have pointless staring contests for fun, just like any other kid. Then he was once again the old Jake, the not-Jake. 

"Can we shoot?" He didn't turn away from the screen or even whisper. 

"His Dracon cannon have longer range and greater power. And his defensive fields have been enhanced. I doubt our cannon can penetrate them." Boy, this situation kept getting better and better. 

Jake nodded, as if expecting this, too, "Thought so. But we're faster," He still seemed too calm, but now I recgonized the planning, manipulative, general look on his face. The expression he wore that was always followed by Marco's trademark, "This is insane!" 

When I heard the plan a few minutes later, I have to say I agree with him. 

"Yes," Menderash answered, seemingly calm in a different way than Jake. 

"Okay," He took a deep breath, deepening the foreboding mode. He looked around at each of the known crew members in turn. I ducked, but I would swear on my life I felt his gaze lock on me for the smallest fraction of a second. Of course, my life at this point wasn't much of a thing to swear on, since I was dead sure I wouldn't have it much longer. 

"What was it, Marco? 'Crazy, reckless, ruthless decisions'?" Marco nodded, looking, for once in his life, as if he regretted speaking his mind to Jake. Jake smiled. A smile I knew very well, but hadn't seen in years. 

"Full emergency power to the engines. Ram the Blade Ship." For a moment we were all speechless. 

Then I spoke. "Jake." One word. A single word, all I had to fit in to try to save my life. Our lives. 

Everyone snapped their head towards me, except of course, for Tobias. And Jake. He slowly and calmly looked at me, then gave a small smile and a single nod. "I knew you would come," He loked at me, something almost pity-like in his look. It seemed out of place in those hardened eyes, ones I used to gaze into, looking for the answer to the world's biggest problems. 

I stood up and walked towards him, our eyes locked. "Jake, there has to be another way. Do you really want to kill all these people? Santorelli, Jeanne, Menderash?" I felt tears coming. "Tobias?" They started to leak out of my eyes. "What about Marco?" They rolled down my cheeks. I said the last part in barely a whisper. "What about me?" Now the salty, rare tears flowed freely, drenching my face. 

He stared back, never breaking the connection, but his eyes were somehow...less pitying, more stony, cold, calculating. "Cassie, you of all people should understand. We have to sacrifice ourselves to help the rest of the world. The universe. What's so bad about that?" 

I bit my lip. "What's so bad about using this as a stupid excuse to kill yourself? Jake, you know, it may seem like you've gotten over it all, but I know you better. This isn't _you_. I mean, if you were paying attention right now, you'd know they haven't shot at us yet. And..." I trailed off. I couldn't believe it. No, it wasn't true. 

Jake turned and his face turned ashen white, showing the first sign of fear I'd seen during the mission. I'm sure we all looked like him. Because there, on the screen, was a face. A face with beautiful, flowing, blonde hair. A face with bright blue eyes, frightened and frantic, fighting for control. A face I hadn't seen a trace of since Jake's frightening smile just minutes ago. I blinked, but it was there all the same. Efflit 1318 was not, as it appeared, controlling the middle-aged human man. Now on the screen in the way of The One, had been that man. But now it was unmistakably Rachel Berenson, fighting for control, trying to save her friends from doing something they would forever regret. 

~ ~ ~

Disclaimer: A lot of the dialogue (sp?) here was taken from the final chapter of the final Animorphs book, owned by the all wonderful KAA. All characters belong to her also. And most of this. The rest is just the buttons my Muse made me push. It occasionally ended up as decipherable words. 

A/N: Oh, aren't I mean?!?! Sorry for the delay on this part, I've been...okay, not busy, but lazy lately, so I did over half of this today. Review. Little box below. You use the pad with buttons and tell me if it sucked, rocked, or just looks like a bunch of jibberish language from the Ketran homeworld. 


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